Month: October 2012

Justin Marinelli

Staff Writer

While I don’t know if I can speak for every male when it comes to handling relationships and the drama that comes with them, I do have a fairly solid idea of how I (mis)manage them.

The question posed to me is: “Do you need to talk and discuss feelings?” Well, as always, the answer depends. If the issue is something out of the control of both you and your partner and it would only hurt the other person when brought up, then it’s probably not necessary. For example, if your partner has a really annoying laugh, don’t talk about it. Just try not to be too funny.

The usual reason given in favor of always discussing feelings is avoiding the building up of any resentment from suppressed negative feelings about your partner. While this is solid advice, you also have to take your own personality into account. Are you a chill person who doesn’t worry too much about little things? Then you can perhaps avoid having these discussions over trivial quirks, like said annoying laughter. For larger matters (say, your partner’s parents hate you), discussion might be necessary.

Sadly, these discussions don’t always go as planned and fights can break out. Within these fights, there is usually a similar pattern. The female-identified person will usually end up linking this fight to other similar ones. The male-identified person will usually assume he is being blamed and react defensively. From there, the fight will either burn itself out or nothing will be resolved and feelings will simmer.

There seems to be a bit of a gender divide here when it comes to how to handle these simmering feelings of resentment. People who identify as female tend to want to talk to their friends and be reminded that there are people who love and appreciate them. People who identify as male tend to go off to be alone and play video games or punch things, and want to be reminded that they have power over the things in their personal space.

We all obviously want to avoid these situations. While I can’t give advice for all situations, in my experience, this is what tends to be the case. Males still like to have their independence and sense of self in relationships and want their partner to respect them and support them in that end. Females tend to want to feel loved and appreciated and know that their partner is thinking of them.

I’m not a relationship counselor, nor do you have any reason to take my advice whatsoever. But I’ve been in a fair number of relationships, and I understand pretty well how people work. If you disagree with me, there’s no need to start a fight over it.

Sarah Morris

Staff Writer

Does anybody actually talk in person anymore these days? I mean actually talk, not scream into each other’s ears in the back of some dark and damp frat house, with the music blaring, not really listening to the words and just sort of wishing the person would shut up, kiss you or leave you alone. Things can get difficult here in “the Bubble” when it comes to romantic issues between you and your loved one.

To start thinking about how girls and boys react when it comes to fighting with their significant others, I collected data from a short, personal survey which concluded in the following unanimous results: it all depends on the person. I actually did ask several of my friends from both sexes, and each of them said something along the lines of this: “Well, girls are more emotional so they always want to talk about everything … guys never want to talk about anything ever.”

Quickly though, each person began to sort of mutter about how they had met people who fell on both sides of the emotional seesaw and renounced their previous answer in exchange for the far simpler explanation that “it all depends on the person.” But I think the real problems arise when you don’t know what kind of person your partner is. If you’re the type of person who likes to talk about things, it’s probably in your best interest to try and get whatever the issue is off of your chest so that you’re not holding onto resentment. However, you can’t be disappointed if your partner chooses to only listen to what you have to say.

If you’re feeling a bit disconnected from your partner when it comes to communication, just remember what DHT said in their hit song: “Listen to your heart, when he’s calling for you. Listen to your heart. There’s nothing else you can do.” It’s all about understanding where your partner is coming from and what he or she may be feeling. I know it is difficult to read somebody’s feelings based solely on the emojis he or she sends, so if the going gets rough, don’t be scared to meet your partner in person and use the power of body language to get you through your troubles. You may want your lover to be the strong and silent type, but sometimes conversation is unavoidable when it comes to serious issues.

Riley Schwengel

Writer

Perhaps the most memorable and hardest part of high school was the dominating cliques that controlled the social environment. I can’t speak for everyone, but at my high school, the kids were organized into labeled groups in school. There were the obvious stereotypes everyone sees in a teen movie: the jocks, the hot girls, the music kids, the art kids, the burnouts, the geeks and any other types that come to mind when thinking about high school.

While I was preparing for my first year of college, I wondered if those cliques would follow me to campus or whether I would have the same type of friends as I did the previous four years. It turns out that cliques somewhat followed me, and I do have similar friends. I realize now that people naturally gravitate toward other people who are similar to them. We enjoy the company of others that share our beliefs, hobbies or interests because we have things to talk about and share together. People who are dissimilar to us can be fun to hang out with once in a while, but for the most part, we enjoy the comfort of our group of familiar friends.

When I started school, I immediately found a group of people who had similar personalities to my own, and I spent most of my time with them. I felt comfortable in their presence, just as they did in mine, so I had no problem having very similar friends. When I entered the fraternity system, I naturally chose an organization whose members shared interests and made the best impression on me. I often hear people complaining that they don’t know enough people or don’t hang out with a diverse enough crowd, but I think that’s a good thing in some aspects. It’s nice to have a small, tight-knit group of friends that feels almost like a family rather than a large group of friends that you may not know all as well.

I do feel that the clique system in college is much more harmless than the one many people may have struggled with in high school. Even though there are cliques here, there is a lot more intermingling that occurs between groups. I have my core group of friends, but I’ve met a lot of great characters and different personalities that I enjoy seeing around campus and bumping into at parties and social events. This variety lets us keep the comfort of being part of a group without making us feel trapped in cliques we align ourselves with. Talking to someone with different opinions and views on life can be a refreshing change when you start to feel trapped within your clique.

It’s silly to criticize the idea of cliques as long as the hierarchy or variation exists properly. Cliques get bad raps because of the high school stereotypes, in which the groups are very exaggerated and segregated. In college, you are allowed to surround yourself with familiar friends while still feeling part of a bigger and more diverse community.