By Jack Wiles
Columnist
Well, after a semester of presenting you with my thoughts weekly, this is my last word before I graduate. (I hope, I’d really be embarrassed if I stayed another year.) To close out, I’d like to share an embarrassing story from my childhood and an embarrassing story from my college days. Let’s see what has changed.
As a child, around the ages of one to three, I used to dislike taking showers or baths. Who wants to get wet if you don’t have to, right? My super hyper, pesky little self would annoy my parents and run from them when they tried to make me bathe. My parents came up with a creative, fun way to get me clean. Their solution: call me Mr. Naked, a high-flying superhero who happens to be nude. I think there was an intro song, and definitely a chant involving the words “here comes Mr. Naked!” that would get me to strip down and sprint down the hallway to the bathroom. Once I was wet, it was done, and bathing was a breeze.
As a college student, around the ages of 18 to 19, I really enjoyed taking showers. Often times, I would take them in the evening before dinner if I hadn’t gotten to it early in the day or if I just felt dirty. One evening, a few members of my first-year hall decided that it might be a humorous prank to take my towel from the bathroom while I was in the shower. At first, when I realized there was nothing between my genitals and the open air for my commute back to my room, I freaked. After I realized there was nothing I could do but be a man and essentially streak, I booked it down the hall, covering as much as I could to my room. I can’t even say I was upset about it after. In fact, it was kind of fun.
As you can see, little has changed with me over time, and that’s how it should be. Respect your inner child–your inner clown–and have fun with life, especially when you’re young. The University has provided an incredible experience, enlightening me both academically and socially. As many of you know, I will be heading to the greatest city in America next year. This, obviously, is Cleveland, Ohio. I will try to be hot in Cleveland just like Betty White, but I can’t hold any promises. Guys, as my great uncle always says, it’s been real, and it’s been fun. But, it hasn’t been real fun. Thanks for reading. Wiley out.