Author: Laura Crowley

You don’t always have to eat your healthy mac and cheese plain! Here are some of my favorite toppings and mix ins: broccoli, bacon bits, sauteed lean ground meat, cubed firm tofu, oven roasted veggies (especially halved grape tomatoes), shrimp, Italian herbs like fresh basil or crushed rosemary.

Ben Rees

Uncle Ben’s Story Time

It’s that magical time of the week again, where you grab your apple juice, your world map placemat, start peeling the aglets off of your shoelaces and sit on down for Uncle Ben’s Story Time.

This week’s installment is about Ben and his friend, Gary. A few months ago, we went to a roller rink. Why, you ask, were we at a roller rink? It’s fairly simple really. Gary’s father wishes he were back in 1968 (the height of the bellbottom and medallion era), so the most logical place for he and his wife to have their anniversary party was at the local roller rink. That said, let the reader be warned: nothing good comes out of 50+ people occupying a place that operates solely on aerosol afro-sheen and leisure suits—but I digress.

One would think that the obvious thing to do once at the roller rink is to skate; however, nobody wants to be the first one shredding across the linoleum to “Car Wash.” So, Gary and I decided the appropriate thing to do was to get the party started, repress any semblance of shame and head to the skate rental desk. Once there, we were subjected to the words: “rad, mad, fab and 10 dollars” far too many times. It was nothing short of a Bee Gee’s barrage from a man with “Sagitarias” (spelled that way) across his exposed chest.

Once obtaining our footwear, we glided out onto the floor and thankfully, the rest of our geriatric entourage followed wide-lapelled suit. As did Gary’s father, who proceeded to call for a “skate off,” which is essentially a gyrate-off on rickety skates. Of course, as it was his special day, Gary and his wife, Helen, soared into the center of the rink more smoothly than a hand through Jermaine Jackson’s Jheri curls, and proceeded to twirl each other around to what I think was a German disko cover of “The Devil Went Down to Georgia.” When we thought nothing could get any more pathetically nostalgic, Gary shrieked, released his sweaty grip on Helen’s forearms and pointed furiously into the rafters. Helen flew through the crowd of elderly onlookers, shrieking like Aqualung, while toppling over family members like a dented bowling ball through shaky, decrepit pins.

Gary, with his face as pale as Pete Moon after a few too many horse tranquilizers, shouted repeatedly: “Up there!” The entire party craned their necks to see what he was yelling about. The disco ball—the beacon of pixelated light that many of our parents shimmied to—was spinning out of control. All of a sudden, the funkadelic orb detached from its suspension and came plummeting to earth faster than every collective tear shed to “Sixteen Candles.” Gary’s father leaped towards the hurtling sphere and in a miraculous moment of fleeting agility, he caught the disco ball, sheltering it in his chest from shattering on the floor.

As he stood up, taller than Sean Connery after frying Dr. No, he stared into the crowd of awestruck spectators, friends and family alike, opened his mouth and said: “This has been the most—oooffff.” At that moment, the front-left wheel on his skate detached, and while struggling to regain balance, he inadvertently heaved the ball in the air. Everyone looked on in pain as the floating sphere smashed on the rink floor. Without missing a groovy beat, Gary exclaimed to the stunned crowd: “Well, Dad, looks like you dropped the ball.”

Thanks for coming to Uncle Ben’s story time! See you next week.

Masks, Movement, and Mayhem

Anna Jones

This weekend, be sure to save some time to stop by Harvey Powers Theatre to check out this spring’s Mainstage Production of “Masks, Movement and Mayhem” produced by the University’s Department of Theatre and Dance. The show will premiere tonight at 8 p.m., with three more shows: tomorrow at 2 p.m., April 14 at 8 p.m. and April 15 at 8 p.m.

“[The performers will blend] elements of physical comedy, mask work, music, visual poetry and clown in order to build [a] story,” said Kali Quinn, guest artist and show director. 

The show operates on the themes of power, subversion and laughter. Each student will use masks, movements, dance and voice to create their character and tell the story. The show consists of an ensemble of 18 University student performers from all majors and class years, student choreographers, five stage managers, a sound designer and an assistant director, all organized and directed by Quinn. The plot, character list and script were all created by the student performers–with a little aid from Quinn. The show is an ever-changing process, so nothing is ever set in stone.

“Each hour-long performance will include a talk-back with the ensemble to share your reactions and learn more about the process,” Quinn said.

Audience participation is key in a show like “Masks, Movement and Mayhem,” so be prepared to engage in the show and discover the quirks of an unusual theatrical process.

The process of building this show began in the fall of 2012 when Quinn visited the University as a guest artist. She met with interested students to do physical theater workshops and, over a five-week rehearsal period, she ultimately created the piece that will be playing this weekend.

Quinn comes from the Brown University/Trinity Rep Repertory Company Master of Fine Arts Program as a clown and mask instructor. She is also deeply involved in the Accademia dell’Arte based in Tuscany, Italy, where she facilitates movement workshops and also represents the school at conferences.

“Everyone [should attend the show],” Quinn said. “It will be accessible through listening to the music, enjoying the story, looking at the images and seeing the masks.”

“This world premiere theatrical experience … promises laughs, surprises and an innovative and moving exploration of power,” Quinn said.

University students have been working tirelessly devising the set, script and physical movements to prepare this masterpiece. Don’t miss this unique theatrical experience from renowned director Kali Quinn, this weekend only!

Dominik Moll’s recent adaptation of “The Monk” was an interesting attempt. Starring Vincent Cassel and set against a beautifully medieval Spanish backdrop, it has a talented cast and a great plotline, only something vital got lost in translation.

“The Monk” is a 1796 cult classic Gothic novel, encompassing sex, religion, incest, murder, the supernatural, cases of mistaken identity and pretty much every other taboo topic that comes to mind. Written by Matthew Lewis at the age of 19, while he was a Member of Parliament, the book caused an immediate scandal and consequently found an immediate readership. Samuel Coleridge famously denounced the work for “blending, with an irreverent negligence, all that is most awfully true in religion with all that is most ridiculously absurd in superstition.” But everyone knows the best way to get people reading something is to tell them not to, so unfortunately Coleridge’s warning went unheeded.

Naturally, the plot of the three-volume novel has been dumbed down to fit the constraints of an hour-and-a-half movie. The film version of “The Monk” begins with an infant boy being found by Capuchin monks in medieval Spain. In their monastery, they raise the boy (whom they name Ambrosio) as their own, and when he comes of age, he too joins their brotherhood.

Ambrosio accrues a local reputation as a holy man without rival, and his own great piety makes him cruel. He brutally punishes a young nun, Agnes, who wishes to leave her convent to be with her lover. Her punishment, when the prioress is informed, is death by starvation and Agnes curses Ambrosio for cutting short her life.

His trial comes in the form of a young novice to the monastery, a boy whose face is concealed by a mask due to scars from an illness he barely survived, the boy claims. In fact, the mask conceals a woman’s face and the revealed Matilda uses witchcraft and sexuality to begin Ambrosio’s spiral into temptation and eventually evil.

Cassel is a very good actor, but he cannot carry the dead weight of this poor script and generally weak supporting cast. Moll makes interesting use of negative photography during some hallucinogenic sequences, but otherwise leaves the part-version of Lewis’ story to stand alone, which it does half-heartedly.

The great thing about the novel is that, over two centuries later, you would still believe it was written quite recently. It’s a page turner–something naughty you shouldn’t be reading but can’t put down. Most importantly, it’s a very good book with a complex frame narrative and a frenetic, frantic pacing which keeps the reader caught up in Ambrosio’s downfall to the very end. This is what the movie has crucially failed to capture. The imposing shadows surrounding our hero separate him from his audience and by the end of the film, instead of being blown away by the spectacle and the horror of Gothicism at its most perverse, I just felt glad that it was finally over.

Trend Report: Spring Skirts

By Kate Jansen

The weather this past week has been completely uplifting. Not only can we finally shed our winter blues and thick leggings, but we can also start to appreciate spring fashion in full-force. I present to you the three skirts to keep in your wardrobe this spring season:

Lace: Lace skirts are flirty, chic and so spring. They are my favorite bottoms this season because they give any look a flowery, fun makeover. Try pairing neutral lace skirts with brightly colored V-necks or tank tops. These skirts can be dressed up with leather oxfords and statement necklaces, or dressed down with simple sandals and an oversized watch.

Printed: I love anything and everything with a fun, wild or exotic print. This season, I’ve kept my eye on polka dot and floral-printed skirts. These skirts can be paired with a variety of tops: for a more fashion-daring look, try pairing a mini polka-dotted skirt with a horizontally striped tank. I also think that floral skirts go well with jean button-downs, crochet tops or jean vests.

Maxi: When I saw the maxi skirt appear on the shelves of Urban Outfitters last summer, I thought that the fad wouldn’t last, but maxi skirts (and dresses, for that matter) have certainly grown on me. Maxi skirts are great because they add an illusion of height and thinness to anyone who wears them. I personally like maxi skirts in bold and neutral colors, although I have seen quite a few floral and striped skirts that I have loved. These bottoms go great with neon tanks, statement jewelry and simple neutral sandals.

Lupe Fiasco Surprises Concert Goers

By Ethan Weber

This year’s Spring Concert was marked by differing degrees of professionalism from acts Lupe Fiasco and Third Eye Blind. It is no secret that one half of the concert was more enjoyable than the other. Indeed, before the event had ended, Lupe Fiasco’s behavior had become the talk of the campus.

Mr. Fiasco was the model of professionalism and conducted himself with the utmost class. His commitment to quality impressed all in attendance as he apologetically stopped the show numerous times to request changes to lighting and sound. So dedicated was he to enhancing the experience that he frequently stopped in the middle of songs to make necessary adjustments. The act became a collaborative attempt by both the artist and technicians to deliver the optimal performance to University students. When Lupe was ultimately unable to put on a show that met his high standards, he graciously left the stage rather than subjecting his audience to subpar renditions of his songs.

“I’m gonna have to do something I’ve never done in my entire career,” Fiasco said, “and that’s not finish a show.”

Students were so moved they began shouting for him to return to the stage.

Third Eye Blind did not share Lupe Fiasco’s dedication to quality. Upon walking on stage, lead singer Stephan Jenkins asked the audience if the lighting and sound were to its liking only to declare, “I don’t [care] if it is or if it isn’t. I don’t care if the lights go out or if the sound goes out.” The student body’s disapproval of Jenkins’ lack of professionalism has manifested itself in Lupe Fiasco remaining a popular topic of discussion on campus while little mention is made of Third Eye Blind.